On September 6th, 2018, at 10:17 p.m., I ordered pizza. Autumn was somewhat near, and something called “Early Leaves” seemed appropriate. The leaves were made of bresaola, something I have always loved, and so I ate the three leaves, accompanied by some roasted pine nuts, first, after taking a picture of course, and then something quite peculiar happened. For some inexplicable reason, I didn’t finish the rest and left over most of it; I got distracted, I suppose, but by whom? By what? The next morning, I forgot to put it in the fridge and so the maid disposed of it. Why I am telling you this? Because this is an untold crime story, a most foul one, as there’s no crime more sinful, more inexcusable, more unforgivable than Italian food waste. A crime of which I’m guilty of in the first degree. Please save a prayer for me…