Peter Pan syndrome.

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Today, I was confronted with my life’s awful truth. I have not grown up. Not at all. My mind is not yet of that certain age I am. Not at all. I still relate to Le petit Nicolas when I am re- and re-reading Goscinny’s stories, much more than I relate to these heroes of my own age, say Julien Sorel, Prince Bolkonsky or Tom Ripley, all these grown up people with their grown up problems, I still don’t tidy up my room, and for some ironic reasons I now have many more rooms to tidy up, even a kitchen and a bathroom, and I still get lectured by my mother about that mess I make each time she visits, I still eat way too many cookies while watching TV, always the whole box, and then I feel sick and want somebody to bring me some herbal tea, my mother or at least Antoine, the valet de chambre I’ve had as an imaginary servant ever since I was twelve or so, I was reading Dorothy L. Sayers’ Lord Peter Wimsey stories at the time, and I was so impressed with his valet, to have someone to draw your bath and serve you tea in bed and tidy up your wardrobe, because, really, one cannot expect me to arrange the sock department of my drawer all by myself, can one? I still hate to go to school, meaning to work, I am still counting the days until the holidays and I still wonder what I shall play with my friends after school and that test in arithmetic, meaning which bar to go to and which drink to have after that meeting with the account management. There’s only one thing that offers some hope that I might finally grow up one day. Lately, I started buying vases and flowers. Now, that’s a very grown up and responsible thing to do, isn’t it?

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2 thoughts on “Peter Pan syndrome.

  1. How I relate to this! I love you for not tidying up your room, dreaming of holidays and counting down the minutes to the after work drinks. And my bathroom is a disaster, I cannot find anything in my wardrobe and keep hoping the beauty products will give the impression I’m still at school as my youth slips away. But I always related to Alain Leroy in ‘Le Feu Follet’ wishing to be boyish, rich and fun loving while all his friends have become bourgeois or dull. What is the point of a tidy bathroom or living to work? Instead of suicide though, buying vases and flowers sounds like the best solution.

    Liked by 1 person

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